


A Newbie MP's Guide to the House of Commons

by almaia



Category: Political RPF, Political RPF - UK 20th-21st c.
Genre: F/M, community: lolitics_meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-22 12:48:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8286418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almaia/pseuds/almaia
Summary: Larry Sanders gets elected as the MP for Witney and receives the wildest House of Commons orientation of his life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A fanfiction based on Ivy's prompt "Both parties joke about Theresa and Jeremy sleeping together without realising they're."
> 
> Disclaimer: The content of this work is purely fictional even if the characters are real life figures and some real life events are referenced to. No disrespect and political bias is intended by this work.

For Larry Sanders, winning the by-elections of Witney was the last thing on his mind. The fact that he was running under the Green Party already gave him the doubts of ever winning a seat - considering the fact that his opponents were from the Tories, Labour and LibDems. In other words, more electable than he is in the sense of party affiliation.

And yet, he found himself becoming the Member of Parliament for David Cameron's former constituency. When the news broke out, the first thing he did was to call up his brother, the former Democratic Presidential Candidate Bernie Sanders to tell him that "Can't you believe it? I just replaced _the_ pigfucker as the MP of his constituency!" 

That pigfucker of course, was no other than David Cameron. The Former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom who allegedly had illicit sexual liaisons with a dead pig on his college days, and most importantly, he was the one who caused Brexit and the Marmite shortage that became one of its many consequences.

Fast forward to his first day in Parliament, he was surrounded by MPs from Labour and Conservative. Both parties were interested to see this new face, moreover because he belonged to a third party less electable than the LibDems and SNP, despite the fact that they were a national party with no ties to the Tories or the anti-unionists - because most of the UK's voting public hated either.

"Oh, Larry Sanders. How does it feel to be better than your brother at being elected?" George Osborne was honestly laughing as he asked Larry about that. The first thing on his mind when he had found out who Larry was "Is this a trans-Atlantic version of the Miliband Brothers?".

"While I am proud to win a seat in parliament for the interest of serving my constituents, I do not find pleasure in berating my younger brother." Larry explained, "I am not a Miliband, you know!"

"Larry, you might even become Prime Minister if you try hard enough!" Clive Lewis spoke, "Then you'd be the second Prime Minister to come from Witney and most of all, your constituency will finally have a Prime Minister they can be proud of. It's a shame that Witney is currently immortalized as "The Pigfucker's Constituency" even though it's MP is already Bernie Sanders' brother."

Oh, Larry was going to have to get used to having Piggate jokes thrown at him because of the previous MP that served his constituency. David Cameron will surely pay, he thought. Though, he enjoyed the sight of the UK's two major parties uniting for once to poke fun at him and his constituency. At least they aren't tearing each other (and the country) apart, well, not until PMQs start.

"Can I tell you how amused I am at the fact that Labour and Conservative have set their differences aside for once?" Larry asked, referring to the fact that MPs from the two parties have been marveling at him, for being Bernie Sanders brother, and for being David Cameron's successor to the seat of Witney.

"At this point we're so united that our leaders are probably making love in some random room in this building as we speak." Andrea Leadsom joked, "Maybe the Prime Minister will finally get her first scion with the help of the Labour Leader. Honestly, forget I ever said that. I'm seriously shuddering at the thought of it!"

"Oh Leadsom, you and your "The Prime Minister is childless" jokes again!" John McDonnell remarked, "But you know what, if that actually happens, I'm making sure their lovechild joins Labour!" 

"Or maybe you can save that child from having an existential crisis and have them join the Green Party!" Larry offered. He marveled at the thought of mentoring that hypothetical Labour-Conservative lovechild. He can imagine the shock on Jeremy Corbyn and Theresa May's faces when their lovechild tells them that they are joining not Labour, not Conservative, but the Green Party. He can imagine turning that lovechild into the next British Prime Minister, even.

* * *

"Jeremy, do you even try?" a disappointed Theresa asked as she lay down on the floor of a random MP's office. Her hands were tied behind her back and her skirt pushed up. Then there was Jeremy Corbyn trying his hardest to pleasure her.

"Patience dear." Jeremy said in a sultry voice, "You have to remember who is in charge here and at this point, it isn't you." He smirked as he went back to teasing her clit. Oh, this was one of the few times where he was in control of the Prime Minister. When this is all over, she'll go back to controlling him, during PMQs, and for the rest of the year.

"Says the man who asked me if he was dominating me properly a few minutes before!" A clapback from Theresa didn't hold Jeremy back, in fact, it gave him a better idea on how to go on with dominating her. Jeremy moved to nibble on her knickers, slowly removing it from her and once he finished the job, he crumpled the knickers like scrap paper and gently pushed it into her mouth.

Jeremy admired his handiwork, that is the Prime Minister tied down to the floor and gagged with her own knickers. All he heard from her at this point is muffled whimpering as she squirmed on the floor, "What was that again?" he asked mockingly. He looked at her for a few more moments before going back to where he left off. 

He felt a pair of legs on top of his shoulders and it had turned out that Theresa had locked him down with her own legs. Even when she's tied up, she still manages to dominate him. Seeing no other choice, he dips his head towards her abdomen, using his fingers to pry her dusky pink lips open and his mouth on her swollen and sensitive clit to bring her to satisfaction. 

When he sensed that she was about to come, he suddenly stopped eating her out and instead went on to open up his trousers, "You do not have the slightest idea about how much I've wanted to do this." and his trousers was discarded on the floor, "To let me do all the talking while you sit silent. You've berated my party and my leadership for far too long. Now it's my turn!" 

Jeremy was now just in his boxers, his other garments saved for his top being discarded on the floor. He drew himself closer to her, rubbing his bulge to her crotch as he watched her blush, "Your promise of a United Kingdom that treats everyone equally is nothing but a front!" he said as his hands made its way under her blouse, "The people of this country are disappointed and rightly so, because you're not even democratically elected!" and now, his hands were kneading her breasts.

Theresa spit her knickers out while Jeremy was preoccupied with his ministrations but she pretended as if she was still being gagged. She watched as he finally stopped his ministrations to take his boxers off. The finale, she thought. Jeremy thrust himself into her, slowly at first then he paced up his speed. "For your Hard Brexit, I'm going to fuck you real hard." Jeremy said as his thrusts went much faster, "Like you have fucked this country over. Consider this my gift to the British people!" 

Jeremy kept thrusting like nobody was watching only for his euphoria to be stopped when he heard a loud moan from Theresa. It was then when he found out that she had spat out her knickers. "I knew you couldn't stay silent for so long!" Jeremy cheekily remarked, "It's really just unlike you to be silenced." Theresa simply smiled at him, like she always does when he attempts to drag her in parliament which is basically just him inadvertently complimenting her.  

Soon enough, both of them reached their climax and Jeremy fell on top of Theresa, taking care to untie her as soon as he had recovered. Automatically, he pulled her close to him and went on to comfort her even though she found the idea of it as something that made her look "weak". 

"I'm really sorry about earlier." Jeremy muttered, "I hope I wasn't being too hard on you even though you seemed to have enjoyed it." he added as he brushed his hand over her hair.

"This is why you suck at dominating!" Theresa cheekily remarked, "How can you be Prime Minister if you can't bring yourself not to apologize for things you shouldn't be apologizing for." she added as she cupped his face. 

"I'm just seeing to it that you're alright." Jeremy said in a concerned tone, "Prime Minister's Questions is in a few hours and I want to make sure you're okay before we go out there and argue."

"But...that isn't bad for a first timer, dear." Theresa reassured him, "I did enjoy our lovemaking." 

* * *

When Theresa and Jeremy were about to leave the office they made love in (after putting on their clothes and cleaning up the mess they made), that was when they realized that they just made love in Larry Sanders' office. Both of them could swear that the new MP would be scarred for life if he discovered this. Hurriedly, the two ran out of his office, hoping that they left no trace of being in there a few hours before - but not before Jeremy left a note for the new Witney MP.

A few minutes after, Larry returned to his office, finding it strange that the door was opened. He recalled locking it before leaving to grab some snacks from the cafeteria of the House of Commons (that ended up with him staying longer because of the MPs who were so curious about him). Switching on the lights, he discovered a red necktie lying on the floor.

Checking the top of his desk, he found a paper with the message "Welcome to the House of Commons! -J.C. & T.M." scribbled on it. Then it hit him. He remembered the conversation he had with Labour and Conservative backbenchers earlier. He remembered seeing the red necktie on the floor a few moments ago. Most of all, he realized that the initials on the note belonged to no other than the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition.

"The fuck just happened? was all that Larry could say as all those realizations hit him. At that moment, he would have wanted to resign, but then it would make him less better than David Cameron, considering that his reason sounds way more petty than "resigned because of his responsibility towards Brexit."

Besides, he wasn't going to let this incident stop him from serving his constituents. 

And then there's him reassuring himself that the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition did not actually make love but that they simply decided to pull a prank on him based on the rumors about them.

It's better that it stayed that way. He would be really mortified if he found out that _they_ did make love in his office.


End file.
